Ek het gister 'n merkwaardige, eerlike onderhoud met Kardinaal Martini oor die tamheid van die kerk geblog.
Saam daarmee ontvang ek van Celia sy ewe merkwaardige uitsprake oor seksualiteit.
Hy skryf in die studie aangrypend oor die innerlike dinamiek in seksualiteit wat groter vriendskap en intimiteit tussen man en vrou in die huwelik bewerk. Sy woorde laat my herken hoeveel skoonheid daar in liggaamlikheid kan wees.
Die skuinsgedrukte dele oor liefde in die onderstaande stuk het my diep geraak. Egte liefde oorkom die aftakeling van die tyd en fisiekheid, en skep uiteindelik 'n innige band tussen twee mense. Dit is boeiend om te lees wat skryf hierdie man, gedryf deur sy lewenservaring, oor die onmeetlike krag van seksualiteit om mense naby, onvoorstelbaar naby aan mekaar te bring.
Martini: “Sexuality is a
very complex subject, about which there is also a “conflict of
interpretations.” It’s a murky field, deep, fluid, difficult to define. It’s a
part of existence in which the subconscious (and the unconscious?) especially
come into play, where rational explanations can find, in the individual but
also in social groups and cultures, an inner resistance that fails to be
persuaded. This is no doubt also due to the fact that there are within us dark
caverns and impenetrable mazes. Furthermore, the evolutionary strand that also
touches mankind is not [yet] completed, and therefore we cannot easily predict
the developments of the next millennia. It is data that is new in kind, and
that somehow makes us afraid. Personally I am not competent on this topic and I
am tackling it here just to try to say simply what life has taught me.
But first I would like to hear from those who have scientific knowledge to start
in some way from them.
Marino: “Sexuality, by
definition, is an interpersonal relationship and as such should be fully
received as an exchange and a gift and has an important role for human beings,
regardless of age, gender, origin, culture. From the biological point of view
it represents a fundamental aspect of life as do sleeping and eating. Much is
due to the production of hormones from organs such as gonads, the pituitary,
the adrenal cortex and the hypothalamus that regulate and encourage sexual
activity. Certainly, coupled with the biological aspects that relate to
sexuality, there is the cognitive dimension and the cultural one, which
includes the ethical and moral aspects. They are spheres often difficult to
fathom and inevitably influenced by a person’s education and psychological
experience.
Science has long occupied itself
with the study of sexual behaviour of human beings for different reasons: from
birth control, to the transmission of diseases, to understanding the
differences between human sexuality and that of other animal species. Most
animals, in fact, seek a mate for reproductive purposes, whilst among
humans sexual behaviours are not biologically linked only to
reproduction, as well as not being only determined by hormones. The brain, in
fact, has a key role in helping to increase or decrease the response to sexual
stimulation, for example through learning,
which plays a decisive role in sexual orientation. It is precisely for this
reason that much attention should be given to full and proper sex education in
the early stages of growth, to avoid creating feelings of guilt or punitive
attitudes toward one’s body and one’s sexuality. It’s clear, and in my opinion
not understandable, that the Catholic Church, in the course of several
centuries of its history, has often ignored the issue of sexuality, or else
viewed it in a way that was geared to give rise in the faithful to a sense of
guilt with respect to sexual activity detached from reproductive purposes. I
believe that this approach should at least be discussed because, as confirmed
by scientific knowledge, sex cannot be considered as an element foreign
to the human being, but rather as a natural fact.”
Martini: “First and
foremost, it is something very personal and difficult to express in words. It
is better expressed in poetry or what is called “the language of love.” In
fact, the subject-matter is part of the great theme of love, as is well
noted by Pope Benedict XVI. Early in his encyclical “God is love” (December 25,
2005) he speaks of eros and agape, connected to the major theme of classical
literature. It seems to me that human sexuality is covered by a “vertical
dynamism,” or “influence”, by an inner force that makes it become little by
little the tool and place of deep friendship and intimacy of souls, to become,
in the Christian view, a preparation for that great communion of hearts that is
the goal of humanity’s journey. A true love is also a mature and lasting love,
that when it is well lived goes to the heart of the person and overcomes the
inevitable wear of time and a merely sensitive/emotional and bodily aspect, to
become a union of souls. And here I would like to quickly note that, from
personal experience, such a dynamic may also lead to such a love of God “with
all [your] heart and with all [your] soul and with all [your] strength” (Dt
6.5) as to totally surpass the physical factor and thus become a chaste and
intense friendship-love. From the above it appears that sexuality is primarily
a force of nature, which however tends to prolong the species. It is a
continuous struggle, relentless, against death. In this sense, sexuality is not
only proper to mankind. But as I said above, in men and women it arises in the
context of a dynamic that tends to make it scale the heights, bringing
sexuality to a level of friendship and a deep understanding, almost
incommunicable to others, of two people. Thus understood, it is essential for a
happy married life and is a source of growth for husband and wife as well as
their children: this applies particularly in the years when children become
adults, a period that is getting longer as the average age increases. Only
those who have developed a serious friendship continue to get along well with
the other spouse even when the children are by that time all out of the house.
In this
context, sexuality remains in itself a force that tends both to generation as
well as to the communion of persons. The fact that you can also have children
in a test tube does not change the nature of sexuality. It is always a natural
tendency to self-giving between a man and a woman with a view to the
realisation of a stable community of people.”
